FILLING THAT HOLE

nOW THAT i HAVE BEGUN TO PUT THE WHEELS IN MOTION.[ALBEIT WITH NOT A LITTLE HELP]RE:THE SELF HELP GROUP,I FEEL A SENSE OF PURPOSE.I NEVER THOUGHT THAT I WOULD HAVE THE COURAGE TO START SUCH A THING,INITIATE IT,IT JUST NEEDS PEOPLE WITH SIMILAR NEEDS TO MAKE THAT FIRST STEP.I HAVE LACKED SUPPORT,DIRECTION AT THE WEEKENDS,ALWAYS AT MY WORST.IT IS THEREFORE APPARENT,THERE IS A GENUINE NEED FOR THIS RESOURCE.THE PAST YEAR HAS BEEN A HARD ONE,LOSING MY IDENTITY,MY STUCTURE,REGRESSING ME BACK TO THAT DARK PLACE.SEEMS THIS WAS A DOWNHILL SLOPE,WITH NO BRAKES,WITHOUT ANY WAY BACK.BUT AMONGST ALL THIS PAIN,THERE WAS A TINY RAY OF LIGHT,POKING THROUGH THE DARKNESS.AN IDEA,JUST A NEED TO HELP OTHERS ,AND MYSELF,A REAL NEED TO FOLLOW A PATH THAT I KNOW IS RIGHT FOR ME.THE HEARTENING THING,IS THAT ,SUPPORTIVE,DECENT PEOPLE,HAVE THE BELIEF IN THIS ,TO GIVE ME SOMEREAL HELP/ADVICE ,THIS IS PRICELESS TO ME,SO BLESS THEM FOR THEIR FAITH.THE FUTURE STILL SEEMS UNSURE,BUT NOW I HAVE SOME GOALS,AND A NEED TO BE USEFUL.ALL THIS ,IS JUST MY WAY OF EXPRESSING GRATITUDE,AND A NEWFOUND HOPE ,I NEVER FORESAW ANY OF THIS,BUT I AM NOT LETTING THIS IDEA FADE INTO NOTHING.IT BURNS BRIGHTLY INSIDE ME ,MORE THAN AN IDEA , A SYMBOL OF MY OUTLOOK ,AND SELF BELIEF, A FUTURE WITH BRIGHTNESS,HOPE ,REALISTIC HOPE.ANYONE COULD DO THIS,IT IS A QUESTION OF FINDING A VOID ,AND FILLING IT WITH RESOURCE,SOMETHING TO REPLACE MY SELF DESTRUCTIVE NATURE.I AM TRYING TO TURN THINGS ROUND,SLOWLY ,WITH DETERMINATION,THINGS WILL PROGRESS,IT HAS TO HAPPEN.I DO BELIEVE IN MYSELF.