genesis;wheredoes it start?

so ,this is ,me dave.s.i am 48 yrs old [live at home]and for most of my life have lived with depression/anxiety, and the uncertainty that goes with it .i recall standing in the schoolyard, wondering why ,at 4yrs old ,i felt profoundly alone ,seperate,apart.throughout school, and,even now i have stood in others shadows,who am i ?i guess that ,was the start of my troubles.not being allowed to be myself,trying in vain ,to fit in[round peg,square hole]and being abused because i did not.who do i trust ,they all seem to let me down?it is with me always,even in my dreams,so i try to distract my thoughts to others,in my teens ,i was plagued by self doubt ,indifference, and confusion,and little ,or no faith in myself ,or others.friendless,isolated,hopeless.the past few years ,have seen me realise, that i do possess,good qualities,of use to others.only now ,after decades of self loathing,iam now beginning to value myself,and have come to realise i am capable of attaining gaols i had all butr elinquished.the time has come for this flower to blossom.iam now realising my true worth.AMEN!