sad ,but true

This is what I GET ,FOR GIVING ALL OF MYSELF,HELPING WHO I CAN,AND DOING MY ABSOLUTE BEST.I have never put in more effort to help myself,and I am ,at best an also ran,in someone elses shadow.Where are friends ,when I need someone to talk to ,in person,company,unless I make the running ,no-one bothers.NOT good for my self-esteem,which is eroding with every minute,one person ,is on My side [mother],when she goes ,I will go too ,what point is there being where no-one cares whether I live or die.In short ,we exsist for each other,no more no,less.I am tired of being tolerant ,making allowances for others ,and paying for it.After 48yrs, I still have no-one who is willing to be there, when I need them the most.Which is why,at this moment,Mum is in hospital ,with me left alone,while all other are confiding in their friends,it is way too late to pretend that things will change now.I was there this morning ,there when my parent thought she was dying ,in the ambulance,at the hospital,left alone back at home to soak in the despair.Why make any effort ,all I get is overlooked.This is a dev astating time,who cares enough to sit with me ,and just be there /.....................................