dazed and confused

Today, has been a difficult one,confounded my senses,left me dazed and confused by events.You never know what to expect,routines are destroyed, friendships tested,and mental health challenged.What have I learned from this nonsensical mess?Never take anything for granted,appreciate what you do have ,and believe you are worth as much as anyone.I have been through the whole gamut of emotions,from optimism,anger,to despair and loss,and back again.The whole thing ,has to be forgotten,a nothing day,it has set me back years ,this last few weeks.I will keep trying,though I do not any logical reason why I should.I have no bloody choice, thats why, being me is not easy[wanna swap],at the same time ,there ar things i realise i am lucky to have .Why is it ,when you are in this fog of despair ,you cannot see them?I find no pleasure in anything at the moment,so it is a grey existence,this will not last forever,as I know from experience.The worst thing ,is these huge dips in mood,like falling into an abyss of hopelessness,yet you keep on clawing your way back up, inexorably until you begin to see some light.That point seems so far away,at this time.But small steps,eat up long journeys,and thats how my life is ,small steps,frustratingly so.Patience is a virtue,so they say,I dont feel very virtuos at the moment,who knows ,things might start to gell, as long as i stay stoical,and believe in myself.