Friday 4 September 2009
being ill
Last weekend ,I was feeling good ,because I had people to talk to ,and other places to be.The problems begin ,when you crave contact ,someone to connect with,and no-one wants to know.Is it a personal thing?/or is it just that folk have other places to be?I do know how it feels ,but how do I stop myself from making this an issue ,when i should know better?It all has to do with my past ,and the fact ,that I have never had many friends,my fear of losing what I have has me panicking[has it begun again]Over the last week or so ,it has become a real thorn in my side,causing anxiety,panic, and diminishing my confidence/self worth.This has affected my sleep ,perceptions,and what few relationships I have.Trust ,again,has come between me ,and my mental health,Idoubt this issue will ever be left in the past,where it belongs.What I need ,is a positive friendship,not just a phone call,someone who affirms my status,and is easy to access,YEAH,RIGHT,it is not going to happen.I also know that my physical health is getting worse too.I have to keep on trying,but it is dragging me down,right now.Ihave always felt that I am last on peoples list of priorities[is that me ?]and Iam not worthy of having a friend.Negative thinking,but I am not well ,as this posting reflects,hope everyone understands.
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Dear Dave,
ReplyDeleteHaving been through depression and other things (I have a diagnosis of schizophrenia) I hope I can understand just some of what you are going through. I know it feels terrible at present, but perhaps those feelings will fade. And I think what you say about having contact with people is the key. For me, the more I've engaged with the world, the more I have got back in return. And from your blogs I can tell you obviously have alot to offer, but perhaps at the moment are just not getting the chance. I can only say, then, that this gets better with time. To use the dreadful cliche, time is a great healer, and if you can stick this out, I'm sure there is a better life waiting for you at the end of it.
Yours with Very Best Wishes,
David.
tHANK YOU dAVID,YOUR SUPPORT,IT SPEAKS VOLUMES FOR YOUR EMPATHY.IT IS TRUE ,THAT I AM MORE MYSELF ,WHEN I AM WITH OTHERS,IT DOES HELP TO INTERACT.I APPRECIATE YOUR KIND COMMENTS,AND I TOO BELIEVE THAT I HAVE SOMETHING TO OFFER.I AM IN THE PROCESS OF GETTING BACK INTO SOME KNIDD OF VOLUNTARY WORK IN THE MENTAL HEALTH SECTOR,YOURS,WITH RESPECT ,DAVID.S PEACE
ReplyDeleteHi Dave,
ReplyDeleteI cannot really add much to what my good friend David has so eloquently alluded too.
All I can state is that if you need a friend to talk too, if you need someone to come and visit, I shall endeavour to visit you. Remember, you can always call me.
Positive wishes, your way, Gary.
Hi David,
ReplyDeleteThank you for this posting. It shows great courage, and that is important to our self-esteem. Feeling weak and yet we continue to encourage what we know to be the best within us!
I'll be attending a class, at a community college, hoping to connect with new people in my environment. It's something I very much look forward to.
In peace and love.
HEY ,Gary,your offer is most welcome,and I would appreciate it.It has been a very difficult year overall,only now ,is it starting to show ,in my despair.I, too know you have not had it easy,I hope you are well.It is the constant rejections and apathy ,that has worn me down ,although i have had some stirling support,from your good self ,and some special people,my health has suffered.yours,in PEACE
ReplyDeleteDear,Dixie,good fo you ,I know you will enjoy your experience at college keep me posted.Your wisdom ,is always welcome here,thank you for your support.Wishing you healing karma,and PEACE.
ReplyDelete