TOO LATE?

How do I even start ,to describe my feelings,the constant physical pain is wearing me out.All the things I hoped for ,have been wrenched from my grasp,in one fell swoop.The so-called anti- depressants I am on ,are not making things any easier,and the few people I used to know have dissapeared.Left ,in my home,not wanting to go out,having no -one to discuss anything of meaning with.A bleak scene,and a dark picture ,this paints,I see no light ,just deep distress,the feeling of having my dreams ripped away from my hands.I try to compensate for others illnesses,and their reactions to my words/actions,its just that my mind is clouded by pain ,confusion,and utter despair,no-one seems to want to understand,the effect this has on me.Its such a long road,with very little to show for my efforts,it has drained me mentally and physically ,to my nadir,a brick wall.Whatever I try, it turns against me,I cannot see a way out[does anyone understand this]doors closing in my face,I see no positives here.I feel no pleasure doing anything,the world has lost its colour,just want to sleep all the time,classic symptoms of depression ,I know.This will be hard going for others to read,little hope I just needed to exorcise it ,put it here out of my head,just to see that its real.PEACE