HARD TIMES

Trying to think positively has been something that I have struggled with at all times.The last couple of years have seen me become more guarded and hurt by the deceit of some,the indifference of others.Soaking up all this pain,with the additional illness I fight ,is sometimes been a lot to ask.It would seem that others have little time ,or understanding for either,whether they believe it or not,I still fight with each minute,to regain some of my true spirit,the real me.I get very tired of being judged,but that is not my doing,it is others will,only I have the truth.All the resources I had are slipping away,but I remain optimistic that something will turn up.My hopes of company have been dashed,again ,others doing,I do not wish to be alone,things just never turn out right.It is true ,at least from my thoughts that I feel betrayed,it is still raw,the fact is ,no-one else is affected by this, it is an even deeper hurt ,because it isolates me more,and of no value.I do not believe anyone else feels the depth of distress that I go through.[do they?]If so why have I been deserted,and cut from contact from everyone?I know this will not last forever,how much longer can i fight this much distress.Its obvious from all this ,that my thoughts are still clouded by all the distress in my heart.I need to be understood ,and believed,surely we all need someone to be on our side?Here and now I hear silence ,and its not what I deserve ,I am better than that,this I do know to be true.I STILL BELIEVE IN ME.PEACE