Tuesday 27 October 2009

relentless

There is no way out ,no doubt,whats this despair,when you do not care ,anymore.The boring part ,is my heart is broken ,never awoken ,by the intimacy of love ,in the cold light of day ,why wont the darkness go away?I now know I can leave the despair ,the agony ,thats inside of me ,only if I pay the ultimate price.I must admit ,it ,seems about time I RELENTED,I have done my best to be good to others ,honest ,cared,spared others my vitriol,treasured my spirit ,soul,tried to understand,just a black hole .This pain is unfair ,too much to bear ,I do care,so why hurt me ,always,hurt me ,solitary confinement iss a bit draconian,for being a person seeking affection ,a man,not a beating post.They shoot horses dont they,why am I still here,where all heart says let me go,no.End it ,who would know ,care ?This is a cry for help ,falling on deaf ears ,as always as the tears fall ,inside ,cold,unheard.
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3 comments:

  1. Dixie@dcrelief28 October 2009 at 04:17

    Dear Dave.s,
    I would like to thank you for the past year, and the positive interactions, you and I have been able to share. Our correspondence began in the 'Changes' portal, aiding and advancing my life. Clarity was no longer a four letter word.

    From there you and I moved on to Facebook as a different shared outlet of communication. Nevertheless, communication is key. When we do not have it, a great many things can be missed or overlooked.

    Your last status of Tuesday stated, "...., no one is on my side." I felt confused at that generalised statement. Was I included? I thought that I must be because your statement was 'inclusive', i.e., 'no one'. I searched your FB profile page but found no other indication of interest/ interaction involving me. Therefore I chose to stop being 'friends'. Indeed how could I consider myself a friend, if I was not on your side? I thought it best to leave and hope that you would search for people who met the standards you require. Simply put: I will not force anyone to be a part of my life. Maybe I made you feel that way. I apologise if that happened.

    Only later, when I checked my email account, did I see a comment from you, via Facebook. A positive interaction from you. I would like to thank you for that comment now... since I cannot go through Facebook to deliver it. I leave it in your hands, whether or not, you wish to retry FB. If I do not meet your standards/requirements, I am not hurt, not angry. I am most grateful either way.

    I am not deaf, and I am not dumb. Should my comment insult you, please feel free to delete it. In highest regard for your 'present and future' well-being, Dixie

    ReplyDelete
  2. david.s31 October 2009 at 10:33

    Dear Dixie,thank you for your support,I am now back on FB,NO DISRESPECT INTENDED.My comments were my personal feelings ,not aimed at any specific person I hope they were not seen as such,just my frustration at myself,stuck in this black pit.Hope you understand,PEACE.Dave.s

    ReplyDelete
  3. Dixie@dcrelief31 October 2009 at 12:10

    Dear David,
    Thank you for your kind response. My highest regard for your 'present and future' well-being.
    In empathy, Dixie

    ReplyDelete

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