another brick in the wall

The only thing I have ever tried to achieve,during recent times,is understand ,and empathise .Quite patently ,it has not happened,i have only imbued apathy,and discontent.So ,I,have been transported back three years,despite meeting hundreds of people,and doing my best in ,sometimes difficult situations,it has ,simply put,failed .People tell you to be yourself ,honest,right will out,in theory,yes ,practice,things are worse now ,I cannot be anyone else ,so I am at a loss where to go next .Brick walls growing taller ,and closer,trapped ,why,perhaps this is my destiny,I cannot trust, because I am not trusted.My confidence has been severely dented,my patience has dissapeared,and others are being left ,because of my frustration.I had such high hopes,they are nowhere,there is a long protracted silence,painful,ever worse as the days pass .Blame is easy ,here,who will see my side ,understand my illness ,it is not me.Truly at this point ,if it were up to myself ,I would not be here to criticise.For some reason ,I still exist ,so I must do my best to dig ,until the light appears,I have no choice but to progress ,because of the apathy , and blame culture ,surrounding me.The only thing I regret ,is that I trusted unscrupulous people,which has set me back,wrongly,done now.I will never look for sympathy,or favour,you can take me ,or leave me ,because I KNOW,a good heart beats inside of me ,I believe in me ,and ,whether or not people care about me i dont control.I have to get through this,alone or not ,it is destiny,the truth hides ,all I see NOW,black[i keep on digging.