its[not] the end of the world aas we know it

It doesnt get any easier,I feel a sense of loss,almost as if I cannot sustain a relationship,without it going wrong.NO,thats it ,not almost ,truly,am I such a bad person that I deserve no relent from this constant feeling of emptiness?Am i trying too hard,and I do keep trying,it just seems self defeating ,when the same end result occurs.I am nothing ,if not dogged in my efforts to get out there,and make a difference,if only I could get the chance.Indifference ,it seems ,is the enemy,lack of passion ,or compassion,or just bloody world weariness[cynicism].When does this hollow pain inside me ,become something people realise,is a need to create ,grow,help others,for no other reason ,than ,I want no-one else to go through this [NOTHING]I am.Current events ,seem to reinforce my thoughts on my dealings with others.I have ,and always will mean to harm no-one ,I HAVE BEEN THERE,as many others have.I strive to move on ,in my meagre way,its hard going,does it ever get any easier?Now my sleep patterns are more disturbed than ever,whats left?I am in a constant state of teetering off the edge of a cliff,I keep looking at the waves below,unsure whether or not ,to finish this charade.AM I kidding myself?Will I always be struggling for the unnatainable,in my empty shell?NO,its not the end of the world for us all ,I just feel my whole life is a sham,who is real ?