strange old world

Its a strange old world,I cannot figure it out,one minute it seems to be going smoothly,another ,it all disappears.Or is it just the way i perceive it?Lately ,my moods have been somewhat fraught,not even ,peaks and troughs.Patience,or lack of it ,is not helping my cause.Where do i find a balance,a comfortable compromise,it feels like i am stuck in concrete,stagnant,things move so slowly.There is so much indifference"better the devil you know",well ,NO,ineed to explore my abilities,why i am here.I just need a constant ,some kind of base,foundation ,to start from.Hello, that means trust[yes,again]the basis of my insecurities,and other mental health problems .I do keep trying ,it is so hard to trust others,when you keep taking the fall[it does hurt]suppose it is a case of "once bitten",times too many.If anyone understands this ,would you tell me?I now realise ,i do need more patience[oh noo],and i have to meet people half way,not expect them ,to take on everything,it takes two to have a friendship,cannot sail a ship alone !To have a friend , you must be a friend,that really touched me ,it changed the way I related to others.Back to our old friend empathy,true understanding ,gotta begin with being my own friend,you never know ,it may just work out after all...to be continued.