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take me as you find me,is all i ask.i am despairing at the insensitivity which is rife, concerning me.Do i have ,abuse me written on my head?i am still that ghost ,no-one gets close to,it is soul destroying.i am reaching out ,to indifference,can anyone tell me why i should bother?Pain can teach us lessons,what not to do ,where not to go ,or to stay away from all ,and avoid constant picking away at my worth,until it diminishes totally.i feel totally seperated from eveyone/everything.the world is a hostile place ,to me,full of hate ,ignorance,abuse,and apathy.does this sound negative?Welcome to my world.friends ,partners,lovers ,no,not for me ,they are for other people.i just get the pain,if i sound bitter ,i dont care,i am through being victimised by those i try to help.the real me ,is still in here[that creative ,curious,energetic,person,who still has so many hopes, and dreams]slowly wilting under the shadow of the blackspectre of cynicism,doubt,misery, and abuse.did you know ,my favourite colour is black/i dont see much light left, in my world.just a bit cranky ,then?i am tired,disillusioned,rejected, and empty.find something positive in this ,i dare you?nobody ever reads these anyway.............